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In light of Norm MacDonald's sudden passing, here's my favorite Weekend Update joke he made, about women drivers. RIP Norm.

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bright luminous rich shiny sunny burnished clear flashing fluorescent glossy glowing polished shining ablaze aglow brilliant cloudless lambent lucent lustrous phosphorescent radiant refulgent resplendent scintillant unclouded unobscured vivid well-lighted well-lit cloudy dark dull gloomy obscure unhappy black brunette darkened difficult dim dusky grave heavy laborious serious solemn weighted pastel pale faded fair-skinned light-hued light-skinned light-toned tow-headed agile slight buoyant fluffy loose slender delicate easy lightweight small airy thin sheer petty portable little flimsy dainty floating trifling atmospheric crumbly downy effervescent ethereal feathery filmy friable frothy graceful inconsequential insubstantial lithe meager nimble porous sandy spongy sprightly trivial unsubstantial weightless featherweight floatable gossamery imponderous light-footed sylphlike tissuelike unheavy significant oppressive strong strict rough coarse thick fat important big clumsy useful large faint weak tiny gentle mild sparse moderate soft casual wee scanty restricted minute minuscule minor digestible fractional fragmentary frivolous frugal inadequate indistinct insignificant insufficient modest puny superficial unimportant inconsiderable shoestring hardly any hardly enough not many not much not rich harsh wild violent concentrated firm bold loud great huge brave smooth effortless facile manageable undemanding unexacting untaxing untroublesome lively lighthearted pleasing diverting gay high dizzy amusing upbeat entertaining animated blithe carefree cheerful chipper fickle flighty giddy humorous merry perky witty chirpy sunny-side up down sad depressed tiring boring upset flash glare sun radiation window lamp ray daylight candle bulb glow star lantern radiance emanation torch brilliance brilliancy daybreak illumination dawn glitter sunrise gleam sparkle morn blaze glimmer sheen luster effulgence aurora glint beacon shine brightness luminosity taper morning coruscation splendor flare scintillation sunshine irradiation phosphorescence refulgence lighthouse sunbeam daytime incandescence lambency fulgor misunderstanding darkness dullness misconception obscurity night sunset sundown eventide dimness information aspect standing enlightenment angle knowledge viewpoint elucidation explanation insight condition slant illustration paragon attitude exemplar comprehension interpretation model education approach example awareness vantage point ignorance ignite brighten kindle put on turn on limelight illumine irradiate animate inflame fire lighten spot cast flood illume highlight spotlight light up floodlight furnish with light make bright make visible switch on mount quench turn off disenchant put out extinguish drench darken burn spark flame enkindle set fire to set on fire strike a match sit perch alight drop stop rest settle disembark arrive come down get down roost deplane detrain fly down set down settle down sit down touch down leave depart move continue bouncy cheery elastic fanciful flippant frolicsome happy high-spirited jaunty light light-hearted nonchalant resilient volatile whimsical stuffy closed close burdensome alabaster alabastrine fair ivory translucent white debark descend dismount get off alighted came down debarked descended disembarked dismounted got off lit perched settled touched down mounted alit gotten off lighted bespangle adorn decorate dot garnish sequin sprinkle stud trim hurt micro marrige Light LIGHTS benchmark criterion measure model pattern rule barometer gauge mean median medium par scale touchstone type yardstick extreme end exception average middle midpoint norm standard usual unusual abnormality criteria archetypes bases benchmarks canons examples exemplars facts foundations laws measures models norms opinions originals paradigms patterns point of comparisons precedents principles proofs prototypes rules scales standards touchstones yardsticks fancies changes probabilities possibilities guesses conjectures archetype basis canon example exemplar fact foundation law opinion original paradigm point of comparison precedent principle proof prototype fancy change probability possibility guess conjecture bore capacity check degree depth extent guide guideline height indicator magnitude mark meter sample scope size span test thickness width unimportance estimate gauges barometers bores capacities checks degrees depths extents guidelines guides heights indicators magnitudes marks meters samples scopes sizes spans tests thicknesses types widths unimportances estimates extremes level Norms micro marrige Norm MacDonald micro marrige Macdonalds MacDonald's macdonald abrupt hasty immediate precipitous quick rapid swift unforeseen unusual accelerated acute expeditious fast flash fleet headlong hurried impetuous impromptu impulsive out of the blue precipitant precipitate rash rushing spasmodic subito delayed gradual lazy leisurely slow sluggish expected jerky sudden surprising unanticipated unceremonious unexpected expansive at ease nice calm deliberate kind cutting distressing excruciating exquisite fierce keen overpowering overwhelming piercing poignant powerful racking severe sharp shooting stabbing violent not serious obtuse insensitive imperceptive dense mild dull blunt unimportant stupid ignorant soothing pleasant dramatic affecting breathtaking climactic comic effective electrifying emotional expressive farcical histrionic impressive melodramatic sensational startling striking suspenseful tense theatrical thespian thrilling tragic tragicomic vivid ordinary normal weak unimpressive ugly usual unmoving unexciting comedic ineffective fleeting cursory ephemeral evanescent fading flash in the pan flitting flying fugacious fugitive impermanent meteoric momentary passing short short-lived temporary transitory vanishing volatile long constant lengthy endless continual perpetual permanent long-lived lasting enduring haphazard accidental aimless all over the map any old way any which way arbitrary careless casual chance designless desultory devil-may-care disorderly disorganized erratic fluke helter-skelter hit-or-miss incidental indiscriminate irregular loose offhand purposeless random reckless slapdash slipshod spontaneous unconcerned unconscious unconsidered uncoordinated unmethodical unorganized unpremeditated unsystematic unthinking willy-nilly thought-out straight designed particular definite organized intentional painstaking systematic specific methodical planned careful PDQ agile brash breakneck brief brisk chop-chop eager fiery foolhardy harefooted heedless ill-advised impatient incautious inconsiderate madcap on the double perfunctory prompt pronto quickie rushed slambang snappy superficial thoughtless urgent loitering thoughtful lingering wise cautious cursory fleeting superficial ephemeral fugitive glancing quick shallow short slight temporary transient evanescent fugacious hasty impermanent momentary short-lived transitory thorough enduring large lasting long permanent tall thick long-lasting demise decease finish end loss dissolution sleep termination silence defunction construction opening start beginning birth living initiation commencement brief concise curtailed fast instantaneous little meteoric passing short-term swift slow lengthy sluggish long-lived briefer confirmation acceptance accepting accord admission affirmation affirming agreement approval assent attestation authenticating authentication authorization authorizing avowal consent corroborating corroboration endorsement evidence go ahead green light nod okay passage proving recognition sanction sanctioning stamp of approval substantiation support supporting testament testimonial testimony validating verification verifying visa witness opposition disagreement void destruction contradiction cancellation annulment rejection veto refusal disapproval denial conversion about-face alteration born again change of heart changeover exchange flip-flop flux growth innovation metamorphosis metanoia metasis modification novelty permutation progress proselytization qualification reclamation reconstruction reformation regeneration remodelling reorganization resolution resolving reversal see the light switch transfiguration transformation translation transmogrification transmutation turning turning around sameness idleness stagnation course duration lapse sweep term time courses aisles aqueducts boards byways canals circuits conduits directions ducts flows grooves itineraries laps lines movements orbits passages ranges roads routes runs ruts scopes streams tacks tracks trails trajectories watercourses ways inactions micro marrige Passing beloved cherished favored main popular prized treasured choice darling dear dearest intimate personal pet sweetheart admired adored best-loved desired especial esteemed liked number one pleasant precious revered wished-for disliked unpopular public hated loathed front-runner pick idol love paramour minion ideal preference shoo-in chalk apple of eye fave teacher's pet peeve hatred hate dislike apple of one's eye angel fair-haired boy favorite honey light of one's life loved one the pet treasure cared for doted on endeared fair-haired hallowed highly regarded highly valued idolized loved near to one's heart pleasing respected sweet venerated well-liked worshiped despised best cream cream of the crop elite fat finest first flower gem model nonpareil paragon prime prize select top worst best-seller a top ten chart-buster hit hot item hot seller mover record-breaker success winner failure flop alternative appraisal choosing cull cup of tea decision determination discretion discrimination distinction druthers election evaluation extract finding free will judgment opportunity option rating say substitute variety verdict volition vote weakness rejection indecision choices alternatives appraisals choosings culls cup of teas decisions determinations discriminations distinctions elections evaluations extracts favorites findings free wills judgments opportunities options picks preferences ratings substitutes varieties verdicts votes weaknesses rejections Favorite micro marrige excursion expedition picnic vacation airing drive jaunt junket roundabout spin long weekend pleasure trip outing trek travel swing trip course road circuit cruise round voyage stump run stretch shift spell peregrination getaway hitch trick turn time hop progress bout round trip circle tour overnight whistle-stop stagnation tour driving ride flying transit movement navigation walk commutation passage seafaring wayfaring ramble wandering sailing sightseeing touring voyaging riding cruising wanderlust trekking biking globe-trotting foray errand correction fix appointment stop stopover stay call interview holiday talk visitation evening sojourn tarriance visit sail crossing travels boating look-in fly proceed migrate move cross carry transmit wander roam traverse jet rove wend cover explore motor scour adventure cover ground sightsee get through go abroad go camping go into orbit go riding knock around make a journey set forth set out take a boat take a plane take a train take a trip make one's way back up discourage halt ignore dissuade remain weekend travelled travelling micro marrige Weekends Weekend amend modernize refurbish renew renovate restore revise refresh rejuvenate destroy ruin antique advise acquaint apprise clue clue in fill in give the word inform keep posted lay it out let in on make known notify post put next to put on the line put on to report show tell tip off update warn keep secret keep quiet pretend lie betray trick fool delude deceive withhold hide conceal advises admonishes advocates cautions charges commends counsels directs dissuades encourages enjoins exhorts forewarns gives a pointer gives a tip guides instructs kibitzes levels with moves opines points out preaches prepares prescribes prompts puts bug in ear puts in two cents recommends steers suggests touts updates urges warns keeps mum keeps secret keeps quiet pretends lies betrays stops neglects discourages tricks fools deludes deceives disapproves advising admonishing advocating cautioning charging commending counseling directing dissuading encouraging enjoining exhorting forewarning giving a pointer giving a tip guiding instructing kibitzing leveling with moving opining pointing out preaching preparing prescribing prompting putting bug in ear putting in two cents recommending steering suggesting touting updating urging warning keeping mum keeping secret keeping quiet pretending lying betraying stopping neglecting discouraging tricking fooling deluding deceiving disapproving brief abridge edify enlighten epitomize explain give rundown give the lowdown initiate instruct orient prepare prime recapitulate show the lay of the land show the ropes summarize secret neglect briefed abridged advised apprised edified enlightened epitomized explained filled in gave the lowdown give rundowned informed initiated instructed oriented prepared primed recapitulated showed the ropes summarized tipped off updated secreted neglected hid briefing background meeting conference directions discussion guidance information initiation instruction meeting preamble priming rundown micro marrige Update Up-date antic farce gag humor laugh one-liner parody prank pun stunt trick wisecrack buffoonery burlesque caper caprice chestnut clowning drollery epigram escapade frolic gambol game ha-ha hoodwinking horseplay jape jest lark mischief mummery payoff play pleasantry put-on quirk raillery repartee revel rib sally saw shenanigan sport spree tomfoolery vagary whimsy witticism yarn bon mot monkeyshine shaggy-dog story snow job seriousness tragedy work fool jackass laughingstock target mockery clown derision buffoon butt simpleton goat jestee praise flattery banter quip rag deride josh jolly mock roast taunt needle spoof chaff ridicule deceive fun horse around kid around put on jive make merry play the clown play tricks poke fun pull one's leg flatter compliment amusement distraction diversion entertainment hobby interest joke recreation profession boredom vocation dido romp antics capers didos frolics jokes larks romps shenanigans tomfooleries tricks jeer kid make fun of razz satirize bantering chaffing deriding fooling funning jeering jesting jiving joking joshing kidding making fun of mocking ragging razzing ribbing ridiculing satirizing taunting being serious flattering praising chump clay pigeon dupe easy mark fall guy mark patsy pigeon sap setup sitting duck softie subject sucker turkey victim micro marrige Joke built contrived finished formed invented manufactured shaped produced artificial constructed bound apprenticed articled bent bounden certain coerced compelled constrained contracted doomed driven duty-bound enslaved fated firm forced having no alternative impelled indentured intent made necessitated obligated obliged pledged pressed required restrained sure under compulsion under necessity urged unbounded free allowed unrestricted permitted irresolute assembled completed created fabricated put together weak flat puny skinny fictitious apocryphal assumed bogus chimerical concocted cooked-up counterfeit deceptive delusive delusory dishonest ersatz factitious fake faked false fanciful fantastic fashioned feigned fictional fictive figmental hyped up illusory imaginary imagined improvised make-believe misleading mock mythical phony queer romantic sham simulated spurious suppositious supposititious synthetic trumped-up unreal proven actual true genuine confirmed sincere authentic truthful honest real factual accomplished achieved brought about ceased closed come to an end compassed concluded consummated decided discharged dispatched disposed of done for done with effected effectuated elaborated ended entire executed final finalized fulfilled full in the past lapsed over over and done perfected performed put into effect realized resolved satisfied settled sewn up shut stopped terminated through tied up worked out wound up wrapped up saved kept unrefined crude stored held unsophisticated unfinished uncultivated incomplete fantastical made-up originating activated arising authored beginning begot caused commencing dawning deriving emanating generated incepted induced inspired issuing motivated starting micro marrige around back backward in reverse round any which way anyhow here and there almost nearly roughly approximately practically in general in the ball park in the neighborhood pretty nearly remote far distant away afar apropos regarding touching as concerns as respects dealing with in connection with in relation to in respect to referring to relative to touching on nearby adjacent beside through surrounding throughout encircling about about to all but as good as bordering on close to close upon essentially for the greatest part in effect in the neighborhood of in the vicinity of just about most much near to nigh not far from not quite on the brink of on the edge of on the point of on the verge of pretty near relatively substantially virtually well-nigh within sight of anyway at any rate at random haphazard haphazardly helter-skelter however in any case in any respect in any way in either way in one way or another in whatever way nevertheless random randomly regardless under any circumstances whatever happens willy-nilly ballpark figure circa closely comparatively generally in the ballpark in the region of loosely more or less proximately upwards of very close precisely exactly definitely clearly accurately against as for as regards as to concerning on the subject of respecting toward with reference to with respect to close at hand near astir active afoot alert awake roused micro marrige About daughter girl mother she wife aunt gentlewoman girlfriend grandmother matron niece spouse Ms.\u002FMiss\u002FMrs. man fair sex gentle sex women womenfolk softer sex womankind woman micro marrige Woman slit cleavage gash hole laceration rent slash split closure burst hack score shred rive cleave rend lacerate claw fray frazzle close sew mend bad-mouth belittle criticize cut down to size dis disparage dump on find fault knock malign mudsling pan pooh pooh put down rap rip roast run down slam slander take a dig at take down a peg tear down tear to pieces bad-mouthing blister cut to the quick decry deprecate depreciate deride derogate diminish discount discredit dispraise downgrade downplay lower minimize poor mouth scoff at scorch scorn shoot down shoot full of holes smear sneer at sour grapes squash squelch take a swipe at take down underestimate underrate undervalue write off value overvalue overestimate raise flatter commend approve exaggerate build up upgrade overrate enlarge increase praise laud compliment belittled bad-mouthed blistered criticized decried deprecated depreciated derided derogated diminished discounted discredited disparaged dispraised downgraded downplayed dumped on knocked lowered minimized panned ran down ripped roasted scorched scorned shot down shot full of holes slammed smeared sneered at squashed squelched took a swipe at took down took down a peg tore down underestimated underrated undervalued wrote off valued overvalued overestimated raised flattered commended approved exaggerated built up upgraded overrated enlarged increased praised lauded complimented belittles bad-mouths blisters criticizes cuts down to size cuts to the quick decries deprecates depreciates derides derogates diminishes discounts discredits disparages dispraises downgrades downplays dumps on knocks lowers minimizes pans puts down rips roasts runs down scorches scorns shoots down shoots full of holes slams smears sneers at squashes squelches takes a swipe at takes down takes down a peg tears down underestimates underrates undervalues writes off values overvalues overestimates raises flatters commends approves exaggerates builds up upgrades overrates enlarges increases praises lauds compliments belittling blistering criticizing cutting down to size cutting to the quick decrying deprecating depreciating deriding derogating diminishing discounting discrediting disparaging dispraising downgrading downplaying dumping on knocking lowering minimizing panning putting down ripping roasting running down scorching scorning shooting down shooting full of holes slamming smearing sneering at squashing squelching taking a swipe at taking down taking down a peg tearing down underestimating underrating undervaluing writing off valuing overvaluing overestimating raising flattering commending approving exaggerating building up upgrading overrating enlarging increasing praising lauding complimenting RIP micro marrige r.i.p
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