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[Poetry] From 13 to 31 I was drunk the whole time

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mark normand comedy stand up stand up comedy bug defect flaw hitch malfunction mishap problem setback snafu snag misfire something wrong advantage perfection strength blip censor echo glitch spot tap birthmark blot blotch break catch check crack deficiency deformity discoloration drawback error failing fault foible frailty gap gremlin hole infirmity injury irregularity kink knot lack mark marring mistake patch rift rough spot scar scarcity scratch seam second shortage shortcoming sin speck stain taint unsoundness vice want weak point weakness abundance accuracy benefit blessing certainty correction correctness enough good plenty right strong point success sufficiency truth blank boon clarity cleanliness closure line improvement defects birthmarks blotches blots breaks bugs catches checks cracks deficiencies deformities discolorations drawbacks errors failings faults flaws foibles frailties gaps glitches gremlins holes infirmities injuries irregularities kinks knots lacks marks marrings mistakes patches rifts rough spots scarcities scars scratches seams seconds shortages shortcomings sins specks spots stains unsoundnesses vices weak points weaknesses closures lines truths rights corrections certainties strengths goods blessings benefits improvements boons clarities blanks accuracies successes sufficiencies strong points enoughs abundances advantages absences dearths defalcations defaults deficits demerits derelictions failures inability to hack its insufficiences insufficiencies losses needs neglect paucities privations scantiness superfluities faultlessnesses excesses satisfactions adequacies achievements accomplishments surpluses absence dearth defalcation default deficit demerit dereliction failure inability to hack it insufficience insufficiency loss need paucity privation excess surplus accomplishment achievement adequacy faultlessness satisfaction superfluity absurdity bad job blunder boner boo-boo delinquency delusion deviation erratum fall fallacy falsehood falsity faux pas goof howler inaccuracy lapse misapprehension misbelief miscalculation misconception miscue misdeed misjudgment mismanagement miss misstep misunderstanding offense omission oversight screamer screwup slight slip slipup solecism stumble transgression trespass untruth wrongdoing behavior obedience fact honesty reality surety validity bug defect flaw hitch malfunction mishap problem setback snafu snag misfire something wrong advantage perfection strength break down decline fall abort backslide blunder deteriorate fizzle flop flounder fold founder miscarry miss slip back wrong horse be defeated be demoted be found lacking be in vain be ruined come to naught come to nothing fall flat fall short fall through go astray go down go down swinging go downhill go up in smoke go wrong hit bottom hit the skids lose control lose out lose status meet with disaster miss the boat play into run aground turn out badly ascend go up rise accomplish achieve build correct develop do well succeed capture complete deliver earn finish gain merit obtain procure prosper reach win ignore neglect omit forget slight fault overlook blink discount disregard disappoint desert funk back out let down overpass break one's word pay attention regard attend respect remember break close drop end crash default terminate dishonor repudiate go under defalcate overdraw be cleaned out be in arrears be taken to the cleaners become insolvent close down drop a bundle go bankrupt go belly up go broke go bust go into Chapter 11 go out of business go to the wall lose big close one's doors lose one's shirt bear start continue begin create commence break down decline fall abort backslide blunder deteriorate fizzle flop flounder fold founder miscarry miss slip back wrong horse be defeated be demoted be found lacking be in vain be ruined come to naught come to nothing fall flat fall short fall through go astray go down go down swinging go downhill go up in smoke go wrong hit bottom hit the skids lose control lose out lose status meet with disaster miss the boat play into run aground turn out badly ascend go up rise accomplish achieve build correct develop do well succeed capture complete deliver earn finish gain merit obtain procure prosper reach win ignore neglect blink desert disappoint discount disregard fault forget funk omit overlook slight back out break one's word let down overpass attend pay attention regard remember respect break close drop end crash defalcate default dishonor overdraw repudiate terminate be cleaned out become insolvent be in arrears be taken to the cleaners close down close one's doors drop a bundle go bankrupt go belly up go broke go bust go into Chapter 11 go out of business go to the wall go under lose big lose one's shirt bear begin commence continue create start arrest break off call it quits call off check cut off fail halt interrupt knock it off lay off nullify scrap scratch scrub keep act up (malfunction) conk out function go on the blink improperly jam malfunction not work stall stop running backfire backlash boomerang bounce back rebound recoil ricochet spring back blew departed hit the road split took a hike took a powder went saved succeeded did well came arrived came in bypass condone connive cushion pass by turn a blind eye prevent be aware blow goof against in distinction to out of possession of taken away beginning at coming out of deriving out of originating at starting with minus defective diminished from lacking less negative subtracted without plus native aboriginal autochthonous belonging endemic homegrown homemade indigenous local national original primary primeval primitive regional foreign alien outside about concerning like regarding since after afterward ago already because considering for hence later now past subsequently therefore whereas abide act breathe continue endure hold inhabit last live move obtain persist prevail remain rest stand stay subsist survive be alive go on have being have place cease depart die discontinue forsake give up halt idle leave lose pass quit refuse reject stop transpire befall occur come about come to pass take place stoned tipsy bashed befuddled buzzed crocked flushed flying fuddled glazed high inebriate inebriated laced lit muddled plastered potted sloshed stewed tanked totaled wasted boozed up feeling no pain groggy juiced liquored up seeing double three sheets to the wind tight under the influence under-the-table sober straight alcoholic boozer carouser debauchee dipsomaniac drinker guzzler lush soak sot souse sponge stiff tippler toper wino bacchanalian barfly bibber tosspot wine-bibber abstainer ascetic nephalist teetotaler baked drunk fried intoxicated looped besotted cooked smashed zonked drunkard carousal bacchanals banquet bender binge carouse feast festival frolic jamboree orgy revel romp saturnalia shindy spree wassail debauched abandoned corrupt debased defiled degenerate degraded depraved deteriorated dissipated dissolute fast gone bad gone to the dogs immoral in the gutter licentious perverted profligate reprobate vitiate vitiated wanton wicked clean decent good honorable kind moral noble pure purified uncorrupt upright virtuous cleansed improved unpolluted delirious beside oneself carried away corybantic crazy delighted ecstatic enthused frantic frenetic frenzied furious hysterical mad overwrought rabid rapturous thrilled transported wild calm collected controlled happy sorrowful troubled unhappy balanced normal sane unexcited every the full perfect aggregate all exclusive gross integral total unabridged accomplished choate completed concentrated conclusive consummate every exhaustive fixed fulfilled full-length in one piece inclusive outright plenary rounded unabbreviated uncut undivided unexpurgated unqualified utter incomplete part partial unfinished broken deficient fractional hurt impaired imperfect insufficient sick unhealthy mature safe good mint solid sound complete developed faultless flawless in good order intact inviolate preserved replete ship-shape thorough together undamaged unharmed unhurt unimpaired uninjured unmarred unmutilated unscathed untouched without a scratch unreliable wholesome better fit hale right well able-bodied cured healed hearty in fine fettle in good health recovered robust sane strong inappropriate unfit unsuitable unsuited weak entity aggregation amount assemblage assembly being body bulk coherence combination complex ensemble entirety fullness jackpot linkage lot lump oneness organism organization piece quantity quantum result sum summation supply system totality unit unity big picture collectivity everything lock stock and barrel sum total the works whole ball of wax whole enchilada whole nine yards whole shebang abstract concept disorganization fraction inanimate incompleteness individual one partiality a lot acres batch bunch bundle cargo clump collection galore gobs great deal heaps legion legions load loads lots mass oodles plethora reams scad scads slathers slew stock store tons volume wad whole little bit few couple accumulation agglomerate agglomeration conglomerate conglomeration heap mixture pile whole schmear whole shooting match aggregates accumulations agglomerates agglomerations alls amounts assemblages bodies bulks combinations conglomerates conglomerations grosses lumps masses mixtures piles quantities sums totalities totals whole ball of waxes whole enchiladas whole schmears whole shooting matches wholes ones fractions parts individuals any bar none barring no one each and every entire every bit of every single incompletely none zero all right healthy alpha and omega A to Z be-all and end-all beginning and end age date day era future generation hour life moment month occasion pace past point present season second space stage term turn week while year allotment bit bout chronology clock continuance duration epoch eternity extent infinity instance instant interval juncture lastingness lifetime shift span spell stint stretch tempo tide tour life span many a moon ending break chance show heyday opening peak shot squeak look-in calendar agenda almanac annal bulletin card daybook diary docket journal lineup list log logbook menology pipeline program record register sked system of reckoning tab table time timetable contingency fair shake fighting chance indications liability likelihood long shot odds opportunity outlook prospect scope wager bad luck misfortune unlikelihood reality truth aim assurance certainty design law plan scheme circumstance Moira accident action adjunct affair article case cause coincidence concern crisis destiny detail doom element episode event exigency fact factor fate feature fortuity happening happenstance incident intervention item kismet lot matter occurrence particular phase place portion proviso respect scene status stipulation supervention thing where it's at whole compose author bang out cast clef coin a phrase comp conceive contrive cook up devise discover draw up dream up fabricate forge form formulate frame fudge together ghost ghostwrite imagine indite invent knock off knock out make up note down orchestrate originate pen poetize produce push pencil put down put pen to paper score scribble script set type set up turn out whip up write destroy disorganize ruin demolish lose wreck agitate anger arouse disarrange disperse distress excite scatter upset course elapsing lapse passage passing progress sweep courses aisles aqueducts boards byways canals circuits conduits directions ducts flows grooves itineraries laps lines movements orbits passages ranges roads routes runs ruts scopes streams tacks tracks trails trajectories watercourses ways inactions impression imprint line point record scar score signature spot stain stamp streak symbol autograph blaze blot blotch brand bruise check cross dent dot ink label logo nick pock register representation scratch sign smudge splotch stroke tag ticket trace trademark underlining John Hancock John Henry brand name blank marking affection attribute badge character device distinction earmark emblem evidence feature hallmark idiosyncrasy image incision index indication note particularity peculiarity print proof property quality seal token trait type virtue indicia significant level gauge measure norm yardstick aim ambition duty end function object objective prey purpose use bull's eye effect result value consequence dignity eminence fame influence manifestation notability notice prestige regard standing cause source ignorance insignificance lowliness neglect unimportance impress chalk initial inscribe letter pinpoint underline write mend smooth demonstrate identify illustrate indicate show signify bespeak betoken denote designate distinguish evince exemplify exhibit individualize individuate manifest proclaim qualify remark signalize singularize check off mark off ostend point out point up set apart show up stake out attend observe behold chronicle discern eye hearken mind perceive view watch pay attention pay heed take notice of write down ignore disbelieve disregard look away overlook endorsement inscription mark undersignature address consign dispatch forward postmark remit route send ship superscribe transmit hold keep receive retain avoid cut pass shun slight addressed applied oneself to attended to concentrated on devoted oneself to directed dug engaged in focused on gave had a go at had at hammered away knuckled down to pegged away pitch into plugged away at threw oneself into took care of took up tried turned turned to undertook went at went for passed overlooked slighted shunned ignored disregarded avoided addresses applies oneself to attends to concentrates on devotes oneself to digs directs engages in focuses on gives goes at goes for hammers away has a go at has at knuckles down to pegs away plugs away at takes care of takes up throws oneself into tries turns turns to undertakes passes overlooks slights shuns ignores disregards cuts avoids aspiration course desideratum design desire direction intent intention plan scheme target where one is heading wish dislike hate hatred avoidance thoughtlessness aims ambitions aspirations courses desiderata designs desires directions ends intentions intents marks objectives objects plans purposes schemes targets where one is headings wishes purposelessnesses aimlessness avoidances hatreds dislikes farce fun humor satire sitcom ball burlesque camp comicality drollery facetiousness funnies funniness grins hilarity hoopla humorousness interlude laughs merry-go-round picnic schtick slapstick takeoff travesty vaudeville witticism wittiness chaffing comic drama comicalness drollness field day fun and games gag show high camp high time jesting joking light entertainment send-up wisecracking sadness tragedy seriousness comedy farcicality jocoseness jocosity jocularity nonsense wit zaniness drama climax crisis dramatics emotion excitement histrionics melodrama scene spectacle tension theatrics calmness peace hilariousness waggery waggishness absurdity broad comedy buffoonery caricature horseplay joke low camp mock mockery parody play pratfall comedy ridiculousness sham skit solemnity sobriety clowning farcicalness jest ludicrousness draw back the hammer perk up raise the hammer of upraise raise tip stand erect stand on end stick up raze cock baffle deceive disconcert disenchant dishearten disillusion dissatisfy dumbfound fail hamper mislead abort balk bungle chagrin circumvent dash delude disgruntle embitter foil founder hinder miscarry tease thwart torment vex bring to naught cast down come to nothing dash hopes fall down on fall flat fall short of leave in the lurch let down not show put out ruin prospects underwhelm aid assist encourage explain help delight forward make happy please succeed excite satisfy disappoint assemble construct create found hoist initiate mount organize put up set up stand compose effect elevate fabricate fashion forge form frame heighten institute join lift make manufacture pitch plant prefabricate produce rear shape bring about cobble up fit together fudge together knock together make up put together run up throw together throw up uprear conclude decrease demolish destroy drop end fall finish ignore lower neglect ruin break demote depress distress halt prevent stop upset topple erect last operate remain stay apply exist persevere persist resist wear be in effect be in force be the case be valid have bearing hold good hold true remain true stay staunch leave give up quit abandon cancel cease desert disbelieve forsake let go release hold shove boost establish exalt heave hike jump lever promote pry upcast upheave uplift bring up hold up lift up move up place up pull up put on its end set upright take up condemn decline denounce hurt jack come up to scratch come up to snuff cut the mustard do credit to fill the bill find favor with get by make it make the cut make the grade measure up meet with approval pass pass inspection prove acceptable recommend itself satisfy requirements stand the test suffice pass muster be acceptable bear scrutiny be plausible be reasonable carry weight convince endure hold water ring true stick prove out lessen climb grow push up rocket soar surge arise arouse aspire awake levitate rouse scale sprout surface surmount tower be erect be located be situated blast off bob up come up get out of bed get steeper get to one's feet go uphill have foundation pile out reach up rise and shine rise up roll out sit up slope upwards straighten up sweep upward turn out upspring descend calm lull sleep comply cooperate give in go along recede regress slump rise bear get through handle keep live recover ride out subsist suffer sustain weather withstand outlast outlive outwear revive be extant be left carry on carry through come through cut it get on go all the way go the limit hold out keep afloat live down live on live out live through make a comeback pull out of it pull through remain alive see through tough it out depart die discontinue refuse reject survive disarrange disorder disorganize disperse divide scatter separate veto authenticate certify check corroborate demonstrate double-check find out justify prove substantiate attest debunk document eye eyeball peg settle size support test try add up bear out check out check up check up on make certain make sure pan out size up conceal confuse contradict deny discredit disprove hide invalidate verify come forward enlist sign up step forward suggest advance present proffer propose tender bring forward chip in do on one's own volition go in let oneself in for offer services put at one's disposal put forward speak up submit oneself take bull by the horns take initiative take the plunge take upon oneself take back compel force obligate volunteer dirty wash bear up be durable cheer disrobe freshen rebuild refresh take off cocked elevated firm raised standing upright vertical arrect erectile perpendicular rigid stiff upstanding lowered prone prostrate appropriate good honest honorable legal legitimate proper suitable true deserved due fitting merited moral requisite condign conscientious equitable ethical justifiable lawful righteous rightful scrupulous stand-up virtuous dishonest inequitable unfair unjust illegal illegitimate improper unlawful wrong corrupt immoral right impartial noble principled pure straightforward trustworthy fair faithful square straight aboveboard blameless circumspect correct exemplary high-minded incorruptible just legit punctilious true-blue unimpeachable up front bad unethical disloyal evil fake false inaccurate sinful unreal unreliable vile dishonorable disreputable fallen lying unrespected card clown comedian comic farceur gagster humorist jester jokester quipster stand-up comedian stand-up comic wag wisecracker wit funnyman stand up holds accommodates be equips for carries comprises contains includes seats takes cancels stops quits halts abandons let goes drops loses fails deserts ceases forsakes disbelieves releases excludes rejects attitude belief determination sentiment stance view angle carriage notion poise pose slant sound standpoint twist two cents' worth booth platform support table board bracket counter dais frame gantry grandstand place rack rank staging stall station erect locate put rise set settle dispose mount position be erect be on feet be vertical jump up depart disorder displace leave lose move remove drop fall lay lie refuse reject sit veto continue hold last pause remain rest stay stop belong endure fill halt obtain occupy prevail be located be situated be valid take up advance cease surrender abide accept acknowledge be big about bear bear with concede consent defer hang in hang in there hang tough live with put up with receive sit tight stand stand for stomach suffer swallow take tolerate withstand disallow avoid contradict disagree discontinue dissent dodge fight give offer repudiate carry on despise dispute migrate pass quit resist shun acquiesce agree assent bow capitulate defer to don't make waves don't rock the boat fit in go along with play the game recognize respect sit still for submit to yield to disapprove misunderstand defend blackball decline demur deny discard renounce afford allow be able to be disposed to have enough for have the means for incur manage spare sustain take away afforded bestowed furnished granted imparted offered provided rendered supplied yielded took away took hid concealed refused denied affording bestowing furnishing granting imparting offering providing rendering supplying yielding taking away taking hiding concealing refusing denying affords bestows furnishes grants imparts offers provides renders supplies yields takes away takes hides conceals refuses denies
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